Wendip week 2017: Not expecting this boss?
by PinkAbuuna
Summary: Title. I did not expect writing these. Some of these are bad, a few are good, none are perfect. After Wendip Week 2017, I will go back on these and edit them to ensure they are as good as they can be as stories. These are where the entries of PinkAbuuna are held. Released on the days they are set, if all goes to plan. Not as bad as the Star Wars prequels. Rated T for safety.
1. 25th July - Meet the Parents

****Author's note: Please leave constructive criticism on this story, it would help me massively. Thanks. I hope you enjoy this. If not, I hope it was so bad it's good.****

 ** _Prompt: Meet the Parents_**

* * *

The calm green grass glistened with dew in the early morning as Wendy rushed to the car. The sun softly shone across the planes as Wendy rushed away towards an empty car, hot-wiring equipment in hand, and one thing, or rather, one person, on her mind. Sunlight drifted through the trees as she hurried herself, directionally bound towards one place. SHe opened the car door, sat down, and took a breath of fresh, Gravity Falls air.

Wendy's foot pressed down hard. She wouldn't handle this. She was getting there. This was starting to get embarrassing, and she's wrestled HERSELF. She needs to get to California, like ASAP.

The muddy, rust-red machine roared off into the distance, leaving a very confused pair of officers wondering what just happened, before they returned to their maze. Police in Gravity Falls wasn't getting any dumber since Weirdmageddon. It was just getting bigger.

"I can't be late. I won't be late. Not this time." Wendy stated to herself. She will NOT be late. She was convinced of that. She had to hotwire this car just so she could get to him.

The roads of traffic cleared as she sped past every car she saw in an attempt to move to Piedmont. She will not be late. She'd turned her friend down too many times, she wasn't abandoning him like others have before her. Not now, not ever. Time flew by as she forced the stolen, dusty car to it's limits.

Unfortunately, the stolen car wasn't very quick. It was almost on it's last legs, puffing smoke from the abuse Wendy was giving it.

At around this time, Dipper abruptly woke up on the plain couch, returning to the blank slate of emotion he had become. These repetitive nightmares were only getting worst, and he needed someone to help him who was actually around. Wendy was in Gravity Falls, Mabel was somewhere else, something about a wedding last he heard, and his parents… we don't talk about what happened to his parents. His mind had become a shell of it's former self, shattered and with no will to survive anymore. His body had become a shell of his former self, thinned with malnutrition and showing bone. He had become a shell of his former self, no longer the bubbly, nervous personality he was all those years ago..

Dipper looked towards the beige clock. It was 6:18 pm. Time to wake up and get up. Dipper remained still. The room, a bland creation of his own, with thin roof and even thinner walls, reflecting his current personality. A fragile, half-broken mess of a life, with all its potential dumped and replaced with the nihilistic look of patiently waiting for death. As usual since the event.

Then he saw the date, and got up from the damp couch in a half rush. Wendy would be meeting his parents in about three quarters of an hour, and needed to be ready for the four of them.

He stood up, reached out to the pile of clothes that stored his current outfit, put on the clothes he had left for himself, and stepped out of the door, trapper hat remaining on his head, blocking none of the harsh sun from the bagged eyes blankly staring at all the world. The harsh sun blasted at his face as he left the building, reminding him of the evil Mabel land. He looked forward and saw a sight to behold: Wendy right outside his house with a look of speechlessness. She was looking at him, almost expecting someone else to be there rather than this man.

Wendy look across the street, and couldn't believe what she say. Dipper needed her years ago, she thought. Dipper's back was slouched, his eyes displayed bags larger than humanly possible, his facial hair had grown rough and uneven. Was this her fault for not calling him? Where was the Dipper that would have been excited to show his parents the redheaded lumberjill who helped him survive his first summer in Gravity Falls? What causes this emotional crumble?

"D-dipper?"

"Don't stare. He's watching."

"Who is?"

"Can't you see him?"

"No… "

"Look, right where I'm pointing. The guy in the alley next to Sales Land. See him?"

"Yeah…"

"He's just been…. Watching me. Ever since I got back here."

"Huh."

"It's, uh, good to see you."

"What happened, man?"

"Long story. Not now, he's watching. Let's just go already. I don't want to waste time. Tight schedule."

"Dipper, this is your parents we're talking about. I don't think they want to see you for as short a time as you can make it.

"They will now. They must hate me after what happened."

"Want to talk about it?"

"After I introduce you to them."

"Dipper, you don't have a schedule. You never had. You've always made the plan whenever the situation arose."

"So do you, now.. Look where that got you. A proper job, respect, etc. Look where I am. Alone, depressed, traumatised." DIpper took a shaky breath. "I don't know if I can live with this. Not properly."

Silence.

"Dipper, when was your last conversation with an actual person?"

Silence.

The two walked towards the cemetery, with Dipper saying it's near where his parents lived, and that they lived "just this way". Apparently Dipper moved out to the horror he was living in at the moment. It even was his choice, but he didn't give a reason why..

Then they stopped in the middle of the field of death.

In front of the two were a pair of stones, with inscriptions of "Here lies Jason Ritter Pines and Kristen Scaal Pines. Rest in piece."

She had intended to meet Dipper's parents. But not like this. Had they seriously died? That was rough. Abandonment by many of his friends and his own sister, death of his parents, Weirdmageddon, Dipper wasn't having a good time.

"Want to talk about it now?"

"Fine…." Dipper murmured, looking downwards, almost as if he was embarrassed to tell the redheaded dream the story that broke him completely. "This isn't what you intended to see when you came to visit my parents, isn't it?" he said as the sun set in front of them, the golden hour showing its true colours on the now blossoming conversation.


	2. 26th July - Time Travel

**Welcome to Day 2 of Wendip Week 2017! Today is my entry for Time Travel. If you have any critisisms of it, leave a review of it so that it may be improved at a later date. If you feel that a particular oneshot should be extended into a full fanfic, let me know. If you enjoyed, let me know. If not, let me know why. Oh, and the italic's part is definatly not taken from Terry Pratchet's character of Death.**

 _Stop lying._

 **Anyway, the story!**

* * *

Dipper turned to face Wendy, his face keeping back tears. It had been 2 days since Mabel disappeared, and Dipper was becoming desperate. He needed to know what happened to her and where she was. He knew exactly what he needed.

"Wendy? I think you have something I need."

"Dipper, it's 3:15 in the morning. What could possibly need me being up now?"

"Mabel."

"Oh god. What have you done now?"

"What are you implying?"

"Yesterday morning, you said that you needed Waddles. He ended up the oven, somehow. In our house. You had him in the Mystery Shack. This evening, you needed Mabel's friends. I had to deal with two hyperventilating teens. You went to the Multi-Bear with them. He gave you a dirty sock, and scared off the girls. WHAT is you next idea?"

"The tape measure. I need it."

"Oh what, to find out the width of the bed she sat in so that you can find out how far away she is? No, I've had enough of your madness for one day. Call the police. Give them something to do other than mess with teenagers." With that, she left and lay against the wall.

* * *

"Oh my god, I've messed this up." Wendy muttered.

"Oh my god, I've messed this up." Dipper mumbled.

Dipper looked in his hands for the Time Tape. He should have grabbed it, it was on the counter near the door.

Oh god, he'd lost the Time Tape again. He needed it right now.

Wendy looked in her hands.

"Wendy! Have you seen my-"

There was a bright flash from one of the walls.

Where was she?

* * *

 **4 months ago.**

"Well. I can successfully say that I have now heard a kid talk for 45 minutes about being 1mm shorter than his own sister. That only makes her taller than you in Canada."

"I know, it just bothered me. Thanks for listening to me ramble for ages."

"No problem dude!"

A white flash appeared in the forest

Wendy set out her fire red hair. As she watched Dipper talk to the Wendy of this timeline, she felt, for once in this crazy month, happy. Wendy smiled as she hid herself in a nearby bush..

"So, what you wanna do?"

"Eh. I'm free until about 8. Whatever's ok with you."

"Really? Um...uh.."

"Stick to the plan and ,in your words, watch Cannibal Vampire Wasp Beach Party followed by The Prisoners of the Sisters in Gold Boots, all while doing nothing at all to keep you fit and ready for the apocalypse?"

"Yeah,"

* * *

 **207012**

 _Most people assume time is a linear series of cause and effect. But from a third person outward view, time is more of a big ball of time matter, just knitted together in a hope that it stays together. It's less of a fabric, and more of a rug. A rug ball. What have we come to in failing to understand the complexities of time?_

"S-sir! W-we have a situation!"

 _What is it, boy?_

"We have a Human Translocation Time Anomaly detected with one of our TIme Tapes. In 2013, a 'Wendy Blerble Corderoy' appears to be in two places at once."

 _Blerble? What sort of name is that? Are we using outdated records? Because that's a boy's middle name being given to a girl._

"No s-sir! We j-just use b-birth records for those in the years below 3012 instead of death records. It's easier than sending an entire troop to gain information we will basically never use."

 _Fine. Send an T.A.C unit to deal with it._

* * *

 **2012**

"Let's just get out of here. It feels like we're being watched or something."

"Well, you should be ready for the apocalypse then. As if we're going to get one. Race you to my place!"

Well that wasn't how she remembered this going. Something was wrong. She needed to get out of here, so set the Time Tape to send her to a different, random time and triggered the device, shooting her through the time cosmos.

As Wendy went through time, a figure started materializing where Wendy had been, before dematerializing, muttering something that sounded like 'stupid drunk Blendin'. As well as this, the trees made a noise, almost like laughing.

* * *

 **2002**

Wendy landed next to a rubbish bin, and looked around her. Why was she HERE? When she first met the cute boy? It couldn't be Dipper, that's insane even for Dipper.

Then again…

* * *

 **207012**

"No one was there, sir! I swear!

 _Well isn't this interesting…. The girl ran away, leaving a memory she doesn't have in her own mind. We need to remove it. It could cause a bigger issue later on._

"H-how do we do that?"

 _Easy. Get me the archives on this Fiddleford Hadron McGucket fella, year 2012. Not to be mistaken with the crazy 207012 guy from Dimention 56. I might have an idea that needs him._

* * *

 **2002**

The street was almost deserted. Toby was tap-dancing in an empty room, the next corner had two children on kid's bikes, there was the "Get'em" guy whose name no one remembered (was it Tyrone? No, that can't be right. Last name was something stupid like cuteybiker, or whatever) listening to something with a full-on speaker system, rather than just ear phones, and two figures were walking towards the cross roads. The two looked out of place, almost recognisable but too far away for Wendy to properly see. She didn't recognize this year, so she checked the Time Tape for the date. July 13th 2002.

Then she saw who it was; it was Dipper Pines, as a 12 year old, unaware of where he was going. With him was Mabel, banging on the window that Toby was dancing in, and shouting something that made him upset.

But if that's the case, then that must be-

Oh no.

* * *

 **2012**

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…"

* * *

 **207012**

 _Please report your status, alpha team._

* * *

 **2002**

"I can't watch this." she muttered to no one. She reached for her tape measure, wanting to go back to 2012.

* * *

 **2012**

"Why did you leave me, Wendy? It's always my fault. Why am I even here?"

* * *

 **207012**

 _What do you mean, you've lost her? GO AFTER HER!_

* * *

 **2012**

"Dude, I'm right here. You were looking at the wrong wall."

"WENDY!"

* * *

 **207012**

 _I swear, go after whoever is messing around with time illegally, or you will find yourself in a lot of trouble…_

* * *

 **2012**

The pair embraced. "Wendy? Are you OK?"  
"No, dude. I don't want to-"

No words could describe what happened next.

So I won't.

* * *

 **207012**

 _Wait,_ _ **WHAT?!**_ _Who decided that what you guys just did was a good idea and a brilliant use of time taxpayer's time money? Lolph? That time idiot who couldn't time count to time ten?_

"Yes, sir!"

 _I wasn't expecting to talk to him today. Bring him to my office._

"Y-yes sir."

 _ **Right, let's get this over with**_


	3. 27th July - 5 plus 1

**Hello there. This is Day 3, with the prompt of "5+1". In all honesty, this is probably my weakest story as a whole, in my opinion. But this is the internet, you may think this story is gold. Or rathere, these stories. Enjoy...**

* * *

"No no no…" was all that she could hear from the brown haired mess. The pair lay together, with him shaking uncontrollably in a nightmare-like state, and with her attempting to comfort him. "I don't know what you're doing here, but -" then he quietened and remained a mumbling mess of the man he was. His eyes eventually opened to see a figure he hadn't seen in a long time embracing him, ensuring his protection from the invisible forces of Al'Ok'Lil'kkkkk. Dipper looked towards the redhead, tears forming in his eyes, and smiled. As Dipper thanked the friend that completed him in the forest, the green grass and mystic trees surrounding them, the clock struck one on the land of Gravity Falls as the world started to die around them

* * *

The mind-forged darkness overwhelmed Wendy, consuming her whole and leaving behind a mindless mess with flannel-green clothing and eyes damming up with pain. As she trudged back home the way she always used to go, she found herself struggling to move. She looked up, seeing nothing but darkness as she fell down. She felt herself land on the shoulders of the ever-awkward teen, showing that at least one person in this crazy place cared for her, even when others wouldn't even help her get up. The two embraced in the forest, and Wendy let it all out on DIpper's shoulder. The clock struck two as Wendy thanked the one person that understood her the most in this place of weirdness as the world around them started to heal at the same rate they healed.

* * *

"Oh, I know lots of things! LOTS OF THINGS. Your middle name is. Wait, Blerble? What sort of middle name IS that? That's the sort of last name a maniac gives a BOY. Right, I'm getting pissed off, I need a rest. Maybe I'll have a 4-9-5-20 16-9-20-20, I dunno. You two identical versions of me, take a whirl. The stage's yours, etcetera wkh doo vhhlqj hbh, my xpp"

"The responsibilities of being the mother figure and the responsible older sister in the Corduroy household at the same time while also being a lumberjack and a teenage girl scare you to death! You've even attempted out, I think. These memories are confusing, someone's messed about with them recently. Oh wait, my mistake, That was you dying of embarrassment due to the next comment we're about to read. Blummin' heck, I'm British. Cup o' tea, bollocks, knickers arse. If you would like to jump in, now's the time."

"Why thank you, handsome. You've recently been having a LOT of thoughts about this brown-headed kid! The lil' one."

"Really? Give me details, details!"... mhmm… Ooh, scandalous! mmm... Ok, NOW I'm judging you, Ice Bag. These thoughts aren't normal. How young are you again? 17? Wow. And look at him! He's WAY too young, even for YOU. But..."

"WHAT DO YOU WANT, you maniac triangle!"

"Straight to the point, huh, Ice Bag? Ok, calm down, don't have a stress attack, you're not 56. I only want to sort out an arraignment before it turns 3. Being this late before eating makes me cranky as Hell. Nice guy, Hell. Bit short and hotheaded, but 's William, by the way, I think. Maybe Bill, not sure. Ever since that memory thing my brain gets gets confused."

* * *

On the 4th day without Mabel and Dipper, Wendy decided that the house she worked in needed cleaning up. Of course, being the curious person she became after the events of Weirdmageddon, the first room she began working in was the old bedroom for the mystery twins. The room as it was seemed pretty empty, with no covers on the bed or any key identifying features, the only things remaining being a bucket full of nerd rubbish and a feeding bowl for Waddles. As Wendy went to pick up the bucket, she saw a piece of scrunched up paper, almost yellowed with age, showing Dipper's messy, almost rushed handwriting, saying, in full, "Dear Wendy. I've always wanted to tell you, I feel today's the day I've got to tell you. I like you. Is that crazy?", with parts of it crossed out.

"You really tormented yourself over this? You're not nearly as crazy as you think, kid."

* * *

Dipper woke up at around 5 AM, which to normal human beings would be considered odd, but had became regular and normal for him. Normally, he'd get up and do his daily routine. But this wasn't normal; Dipper knew it immediately.. It wasn't the fact that he was lying next to the woman of his prepubescent dreams, that could have context as to why she's here. It was that Wendy's eyes were never glowing yellow, with pupils thin and snake-like. She was wearing very little, and held a knife in her hands, grinning like an evil maniac.

"So, if we were to somehow become Star Wars, like the world of Star Wars becomes real life, who would we be?"

"Easy dude. I'm Han, since I would SO be a smuggler! Millennium Falcon, here I come!"

"Ohh, I'm Luke!"

"You can't be Luke. For one, the genders are wrong, unless you're not telling me something. Second, when have you ever been selfless and generous for people other than direct family? Luke successfully killed a ton of people when blowing up the Death Star, and I don't think you'd do well with that sort of guilt. And thirdly-"

"You could be Leia… Or Chewie. Either way, you get to be with Han Solo..."

"Do you think I'm that desperate for something that won't happen"

"Hehehe. You guys. You wouldn't have a chance of NOT being near me, you're Dipper! Besides, haven't you got that rich girl as your lapdog at the moment?"

"Who, Pacifica? No, she would be just a minor character. She's probably Lando. Or someone else. Maybe she's that weird guy that wasn't affected by the force from Ep 1? I don't know, I haven't seen those bits of CG crap yet. Needs to be on the horrible movie night list."

"There was that, um, photograph that rather put you two together. I expected you to be over me, but not that quick…. I expected you to still have pictures of my under your bed and for you to be constantly thinking about me."

"Wait, what photo? OH NO. Who gave you that? I didn't expect you to get that! MABEL WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"Hey, what's with the red face? You ok dude?"


	4. July 28th - The Gang finds out

**Hello again! This is day 4, I upload these slightly late, I know. At least they're out.**

 **Anyway, "The Gang finds out". For this, I've done something slightly different. If any parts of this need changing, let me know so that they may be changed. I want as much constructive criticism as I can get so that my fanfiction can be improved in the future. Here's the story:**

* * *

Dipper was in Piedmont High School when he, as well as 'the Gang' as he called it, found out Wendy liked Dipper. Dipper reflected on how his 'Gang' found out about Wendy.

 **1 week ago**

Dipper was on his way to AP Computer Science, as one of the smartest students the school had seen, having a totally normal day. The sun shone outside,

Shove.

Dipper fell on his face, books flying along the corridor.

"Hey Dipshit! Watch where you're going." he heard a voice shout at him. Dipper fumbled in the corridor, wondering who it was. Unsure of who had spoken to him, he responded to the voice.

"If you will, I will."

"What did you just say?" Wall punch. "Are you saying we don't know where we're going?" Punch. "You?" Punch. "Telling us?" Punch.

"Well, not just him, his 'girlfriend'. Hehhehehhehehheheh. When would **Mason Pines** of all people get himself a girlfriend? Doesn't that sound ridiculous? This guy?"

"I heard he paid her to be friends with him. Sounds about right."

"I heard she's blond. Dumb enough to date him of all people."

"I heard she's called something stupid, like Blerble or some crazy shit."

"I heard she's, like, 9 years old and is a total slut."

Silence from the bullies.

"Dude, I know we're making fun of him, but even I know that's too far."

"You think? Even you should know that's not true."

"DON'T MAKE THIS ABOUT YOU, DIPSTICK." The big one exclaimed. Dipper glanced up, checking up on who was behind the bullies.

"If you're so curious about 'my girlfriend', then why don't you ask her yourselves?" He says, pointing towards the redhead who had now almost stormed towards the group. She shoved the bullies aside, almost as if Dipper was her most prized possession. Even though the three dominated in numbers, she was taller than all three of the ones that towered over Dipper.

"You three will stop what you are doing and leave Dipper alone. If you don't, I'm gonna weird your butt on my foot like a cloth slipper."

"Oh yeah? And what makes you think you can do that?" The largest one teased. "Who could do such a thing as that?"

"She can. She's a flipping Corduroy."

Suddenly, the group found themselves on the floor at the other side of the corridor.

"That's my line and you know it, kid."

"Yep, and I enjoy stealing other's lines. You've seen me with quotable lines." Dipper responded. Wendy ensured that all the bullies were scared off before turning back to Dipper. 'I have a few minutes before I need to be in class, I can have a conversation.' he thought. "So, what's a person like you doing in a place like this?"

"What, I can't take a vacation to California?"

"Why here, though. Don't tell me you got a job here."

"Ok. I won't tell you why I'm here."

"God damn it."

"Don't lie, you like it that I'm here. Besides, it looked like you needed the help. Why does the man who helped stop the end of the world get bullied?"

"Probably because I'm an easy target? I'm the nerd in this school!"

"And what would make you less of an easy target? You stopped the end of the world!"

"No, I won't tell them about Weirdmageddon. They won't believe me. A floating dorito with a top hat and bow tie decides to make one town called Gravity Falls a reality play-ground and created an X tear in what we know, but can't take this party worldwide because of a natural weirdness barrier, so a pair of teenagers and a pair of great-uncles take down this near omnipotent being. ALL this in the last week of summer, when we said we were doing some fishing in Arcadia. Yep, they'd sure believe that!" Dipper ranted, almost angry, but not quite.

"Well, you did help save the universe, and you don't know how to handle a trio of male pussies? Why's that?"

"They wouldn't believe me. They don't believe I have a girlfriend!"

"I know a way to make them believe. You might not like it as much as you would have done during the summer, but I know this will work."

"What will?" Dipper started sweating much harder than normal, and darted his head around, looking for possible ways out. But it was too late.

"This." Wendy whispered as she got close to Dipper. Extremely close. Almost too close for comfort.

 **Today**

Dipper didn't expect to get a girlfriend the same day that his Gang found out. He expected Wendy's gang to find out first. But, of course, reality had other ideas. Reality always has other ideas.

Now that the two were a thing, Dipper needed to get Wendy something. But what could he get?

"Hello, is Tambry there? Yeah, Dipper Pines here. Look, I'm sorry that I'm interrupting… whatever it is you were doing, but I have a problem." People continued walking past him. "No, SHE's the problem." People started gathering around him. The park was slowly becoming more populated with people wondering who this crazy guy was.

"Look, it's better if she explains it to you in person, but I just need something. What does Wendy like?... No, that's not a joke, stop laughing." Dipper started to move to somewhere more private. He hoped that this conversation wouldn't be taken out of context by the semi-crowd of people, who were actually watching the game behind him.

"Seriously, I need to get her something, and I don't know what to get." DIpper scratched his head, hoping to think of something without Tambry's assistance.

"Of course I'm new to this, she's the only person I've gone out with so far!" Oh god.

 **The next day, in Gravity Falls.**

The Mystery Shack was quiet at this time. No one in their right mind would come here this early. Unless you were Stan, Wendy realized, to her horror. She had to wait about a year before she could even see anyone other than people that she would-

"WENDY? You've got some explaining to do."

It was Tambry.


	5. 29th July - Handcuffed Bound together

**Hello there. This is Day 5, here is my entry for "Handcuffed". It is probably the worst idea I have, but hey. That's my view on this story. Maybe you have a different view. Tell me how I could improve, and here's the story!**

* * *

The sun set as a 20 year old Dipper Pines found himself wandering around the forest, as he had done many years in the past, trees staring at him. Scratching his scruffy chin, he started to reminisce on the past, remembering the times he had while in Gravity Falls last time. His first encounter with the gnomes, beating bunch of living wax models, ghost hunting at the old Northwest Mansion, Weirdmageddon, etc. It was confusing, awkward at times, but wouldn't be replaced for the world. All that was wanted was a short break from reality, and boy, they got that in spades. It almost seemed fake.

Things couldn't be all rosy sweet and nonsense. Events like the roadtrip ensured that even _before_ the end of the world. It was normal at first. It seemed like just a regular old journey with Stan to various weird places, it seemed. The only odd thing was why he was vandalizing them, and he had a reason. A stupid reason, but a reason nonetheless. Then Mabel had to get that box of old junk that he wanted to throw at some point in the future, accidently spill it, because Mabel wouldn't do such a thing deliberately, and make him seem like he couldn't get over Wendy. Which he had done. He had started seeing Pacifica as someone he could hang out with, possibly date in the future. And of course, Stan decided to help him with his inability to get over women, because EVERYTHING Stan does can be trusted to work 100% of the time!

"That was awful." He thought aloud, before collapsing on the nearest sitting implement, which turned out to be the grass, or what looked like it anyway.

"What was awful?" a voice asked. Dipper almost jumped, before realizing who that voice belonged to.

"Hey Wendy. Remember when Stan told you to take the day off last time I was here?" The voice hummed a yes. She was busy vandilising the pool that day with her friends. Wasn't as fun as she thought it would be though, since it was basically abandoned with no punishments. BORING. "Well, that turned out to be a road-trip to sabotage other tourist traps. That day is a day I'd rather forget. No offence, Wendy, but it just doesn't feel right to talk about it. Espectially since we're a couple. Are we a couple? I keep forgetting."

That was when he heard a click to his left. He tried lifting his arm, but felt a resistance.

He was handcuffed for not telling Wendy about the worst day he had here in Gravity Falls, which would probably lead to his death. What a world.

Ok, that was an over exaggeration. But not that far off, Dipper thought. But this would be bad. SO what was Dipper's most immediate thought?

"Where the fuck did you get a pair of handcuffs?"

"The Police Department dropped my record if I became a part-time cop. Comes with the job. Blame Bill and the mayor for that."

"Ok, why are you handcuffing me?"

"Simple. You must tell me about this road-trip. I don't want any more secrets between us. Tell me about the roadtrip."

"And what if I say no?"

"Simple. I arrest you under the violation of the Rights of Officers of the Law Act 2015."

"Seriously? That's a thing"

"Yes. I pushed for it. Not for this circumstance, but hey"

"Well then, you've definitely changed."

A pregnant pause passed by.

"I can't tell you here. Too open. Don't want anyone to hear. You'll understand why."

"Umm… ok?" Wendy mentioned as she reached for the key to the handcuffs, so that the two could go inside for the story of Dipper the lady's man.

But the keys weren't on her belt.

"Dipper? We have a problem."

"What did you do?"

"I don't have the key for those cuffs."

Silence. Nature didn't chirp or even whistle.

Wendy stood up, starting to drag Dipper with her to the one place she didn't want to take him to today.

* * *

"Officer Corduroy, what have you done this time?"

"Handcuffed myself to this dorky kid."

"Is this true?"

"Yes. I am a dorky kid."

Sigh. "Let me get the keys. I'm glad you aren't a permanent member of the force. If you were, this mess wouldn't be accepted."

"Wendy, how many times have you done this to other people? Handcuffing someone and forcing them to say something due to some bullshit law?"

"Far too many. We've had complaints from powerful people, Gwendoline. Don't think about doing this again."

"Where's Mabel?"

"NO."

 **Some time later…**

"Well, I think I should keep hold of these." Dipper said. "Just to make sure you don't try THAT stunt with me sister." He placed his head on the pillow of Wendy's bed.

"How many times do I have to say sorry for that? I didn't intend to actually handcuff you."

"Well, I can think of one way to make you remember not to do it…"  
"What?"

"A bit of…. punsihment, I think." He joked as he handcuffed Wendy to the bed. This wasn't what he expected, but who cared? He would have his fun with his girlfriend, and she would learn her lesson on not to mess with Dipper.

Dipper placed the key for the handcuffs on the bedside table, away from Wendy's reach, before launching himself away from Wendy, tired of her antics with a smile on his face. 

"DIPPER! GET BACK HERE NOW!"


	6. 30th July - Fake Relationship

**Hello. Day 6 here. If I go back and change update these stories, this one will easily be near the top of the list. It has an idea that I know is stolen from somewhere but I can't be bothered to find it ATM. So if this is your original idea, credit to you and whatever.**

 **TO THE STORY!**

* * *

"Well, Mabel. Who are your ships at the moment? Let's see… Me and Wendy or Pacifica, yeah. Expected that at the top. People we can't contact, blah blah. Candy and Richard… Maybe I could work on that one? I'd have to check it out with the master of these things…" Dipper muttered. It was approaching April Fools Day, and DIpper didn't want to disappoint. He had been dared by several of the townsfolk of Piedmont to stir up trouble with Mabel's ships, as they were growing sick and tired of constantly being forced into relationships that they didn't want to explore for various reasons. When better to mess with something than the day no one takes seriously?

Thinking of the perfect April Fool's prank for Mabel, he called Wendy, wondering if she'd thought of anything that he could use. Apparently, Wendy was the queen of April Fool's Day.

"Hello? Is this Wendy?"

"The number you have called," Wendy said in a voice that mocked the voicemail system on her phone, "is fucking you over. Please hold as your ass is- oh, erm… Hi DIpper, thought you were someone else…. Hehheh."

"Umm… Ok. I'Il hope that's for Friday. Anyway…."

"So, what's up?"  
"Oh, not much. Just thinking how I could prank Mabel. Apparently you know how to prank people well. Sort of the Prank Mistress of Gravity Falls, according to some."

"Yeah dude! Any ideas?"

"The only thing I have is her current ship list. I can't do much with that."

"Well, who's on it?"

"Well, there's us two, since she still holds onto the past. Like that's gonna happen in my lifetime. There's Candy and a friend of Mabel's, can't do much with that really now that I think about it.. And there's me and Pacifica. I don't know why. Bill and Jess, WIlliam and Cortney, Max and Chloe, etc."

"Yeah, about that. Are you… er seeing anyone at the moment?"

"Who, me? The nerd who spends all day indoors reading whatever he can get his hands on and spends far too much time playing online D D and more D? Yeah, I've got _all_ the girls looking for me."

"Hehe, well, I'll think about what I could do over here."

"Yeah, ok. Let me know if you have any ideas."

"Ok. Oh and Dipper?"

"Yeah?"

"Stay safe." Wendy seriously stated. "It might not be Gravity Falls levels of weird, but California can get pretty bad. I don't, like want to see you hurt, at all. You get me?"

"Umm….. yeah?"

"Ok, cool, call you back!"

"Bye.." The phone line went dead.

Both left their feelings unannounced. This could get bad very quickly. Wendy collapsed against the wall of the Mystery Shack, wondering what was going on between them, before plotting her next move. Very. VERY. Carefully..

"Hello? Is this the Northwests? Yes, could I get Pacifica on please? Tell her a friend of Dipper's is calling. Yes, I'll hold, what else would I do to the phone?"

"Hello, Pacifica? Yeah, it's Wendy. Listen, how much would you be willing to be paid to help me prank Mabel tomorrow? No, I'm not joking. Why would I joke about this? It's April 1st on Friday. What I've planned for Mabel won't be near half what I've planned for you lot. All I need is one photo. Maybe two. Ok, I'll get back to you."

* * *

"Dipper? Yes, I've got the best idea for what could be done for Mabel's pank, and you won't like it."

"What is it? I've got to go in like, 5 minutes ago."

"What if the two people she paired with you suddenly found themselves in a relationship?"

"NO. You have no idea what can of worms that will open. If she tells my parents, they will NEVER send us back to **-** sure. Why not? What could go wrong with that idea? That's a good idea for the assignment. Especially given the theme of loss we were recommended to do. Ok, see ya! Don't forget, video games at 8, your place!"

Then Dipper hung up.

WHY did Mabel have to enter just as he wanted to tell Wendy off for that stupid idea?

Why was he telling Wendy off? Why is he still asking questions about Wendy, he's should be over her. He got friendzoned, he was dealing with it in a calm and sensible manner. What was this emptiness he was feeling? It wasn't quite loneliness, it was…

Dipper put these thoughts away as he headed off to baseball .

WHY was Dipper of all people shouting at her? She was the one that needed to let off some steam, not him. What on earth was he talking about? What sort of person had Dipper become? Why was Wendy OK with that person? And why was Wendy feeling flustered all of a sudden?

Wendy put this thought away.

* * *

"So what. You need me looking happy? Why?"

"Because tomorrow is April Fools day, and this is for Mabel's prank. Don't worry, Yours has been sorted out already. I've been planning this for, like, a month. This is just for Dipper's prank. His sister will go crazy, he'll go a different kind of crazy, and I'll have the pleasure of seeing the whole thing."  
"What? Why? How?"

"A lady never reveals these types of things."

"h, whatever. Just be quick, we can't take long."

* * *

The night before April Fools day fell over Piedmont.

* * *

"Are you sure this'll work?"

"If she can read, she'll work it out."

"O...k…"

"Dude, it isn't real. I''d never do that to you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, just feeling a bit down right now."

"Why?"

"I dunno. Puberty and junk?"

"Maybe. Speaking of, when you next come here, you better be taller than Mabel!"

"Why? What sort of-"

"Stan and I made a bet. If you're shorter, I do one week unpaid work. If you're taller, I do one week with double pay. So, I need puberty to hit, like, right now."

"(in a pretend deep voice) Oh no! Why is there hair growing there? And why am I so sad? Agh! My head! It's banged against the ceiling!"

"Hehe. Dork."

"(normal) Yeah." Silence. "So what's going on west of Weird?"

"Well, the humans are coping well since the event. Monsters, though, have been spooked. Manotaurs have taken on 'Bodacious T' as one of their own for some reason, Pacifica is being nice to people, the Unicorns are sharing their hair to Bill-proof the Bill statue in case he takes that body.

"Huh. So these letters weren't from anyone in Gravity Falls. Right."

"What letters?"

"Just some letters praising someone's 'everlasting love' for me. Started since late February."

"Huh. Read them out to me."

"Ok, let me just get one. They're all the same, so I won't be long." Dipper got up and started looking around. At this exact moment, Wendy started hyperventilating, grabbing a nearby pillow and hugging it to calm herself down from her mini panic attack.

Dipper coughed. "'Will you accept me after what I had done to you? My everlasting love for you requires no logic or reason. A no or a yes is all I need to know. You know this, Dipper Pines. Your admirer.' That's weird. No one I know in Piedmont or Gravity Falls would send these messages."

Wendy hung up. Dipper was shocked, wondering why she hung up. Then he noticed something.

* * *

The morning came.

As Mabel awoke from her childishly pink bed, she saw a note on her bedside table, written "I'm sorry" on the side most visible to her. After about 5 minutes of Mabel getting up, she read the other side of the note. It read:

"A note for Mabel.

Pacifica and I have been thinking about something that you've done somewhat recently regarding Dipper's relationship status.

Really, you tried to set up Pacifica, the richest girl in Gravity Falls, and Dipper, the nerdiest kid in Piedmont.

Insanity describes that action, Mabel.

Luckily, Wendy's still single, so you think that you'll set me and him up.

February arrives, you come up with the same plan Dipper will never do because of the bunker incident.

Obviously, we will never be together.

Over my dead body.

Luckily, there should be girls in Piedmont that Dipper can talk to, right?

Sincerely, Wendy Corduroy."

With this note was some photos. These photos posed Wendy and Pacifica together in various places. They looked happy.

Mabel was about to sob. Her perfect pairs for her bro-bro were gone forever. Nothing good would happen from it. Dipper wasn't up yet, she needed comforting.

* * *

When Dipper woke up, he felt like hell. His eyes were burning, he had a massive headache, his legs were killing him. Why? Dipper didn't know. Dipper stretched out. His legs weren't moving. There was a massive weight forced against them. He took a look to see what it was. For some reason, Mabel was hugging his legs.

Well, he now knows why his legs hurt.

"Dipper? Why were you crying last night?"

"What?" That could explain why his eyes were burning, but it made no sense.

"Dipper?"

"What? Mabel, what are you doing?"

"Doing what I should have done ages ago."

Mabel grabbed the scissors nearby.

And cut the note.

The first letter of each line spelt out "APRIL FOOLS".

Mabel knew.

"What? You think I'd do something serious? I don't care if someone is bi anyway! Have you seen my ship list? Ker-Pranked!"

"Mabel, I was kinda worried."

"I should be more worried about you. You cried your eyes out last night."

"Again, I have no idea what you're talking about." Dipper had no idea what she was talking about.

* * *

"Wendy?"

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Did you send these letters?"

"Why would you think that?"

"The start of every line spells out "Wendy".

Wendy hung up, her face suddenly gaining colour. Why did she send those letters? What was she expecting?


	7. 31st July - Naughty or Nice

**Day 7. Here we go. This is one I enjoyed thinking about. I hope I go back and improve these.**

* * *

"Well today is wonderful, isn't it?"  
"No."

"Come on, dude. It's a lovely day, snow's falling, it's not annoyingly cold, what is there not to like?"

"Everything."

"Dipper, you're starting to act like Robbie. Don't be Robbie, man… Look at what happened to him. I dumped him, and he's currently doing time for something."

Silence.

"Movie night my place like we used to?"

"I don't feel up to it…"

"Why not? You've almost never missed an opportunity to hang out with me, even _after_ the Bunker. Why now?"

"Don't feel like it."

"Why not?"

"I dunno. Just don't. Just wanna lay around doing nothing."

"Dude, what happened?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me, dude."

"Nothing happened! Nothing strange or out of the ordinary happened while I was gone, you hear me? NOTHING."

"Ok, dude! Relax!"

"Whatever. I'm going. Probably fall down a hill or something. Not like anyone cares. Not like someone could give me the decency of telling me why they hate me rather than pretending they don't."

* * *

"What's wrong with him? He's been like that ever since last day at school!" Mabel leaned against the wall in the Mystery Shack closest to the shack itself looked normal. Stan wouldn't waste money on "tacky" decorations, and Soos was too busy with his Abulita to put up anything in the Mystery SHack, as much as he wanted to. In the living parts of the house, though, including the kitchen, were decorations brought by Mabel and stuck out like a swelling sore thumb in a land of ants. TInsel was all over the place, a fake tree was set up, there was even real mistletoe set up somewhere. All of this was Mabel's fault. If these decorations weren't there, Dipper would be sulking in his room rather than outside, in the cold, without any way of warming himself up apart from himself.

"I dunno, Mabes. I dunno."

"He wasn't like this before then, he's just been Dip moody. You know, hormones and stuff." Mabel shivers at the memory of being taught about puberty in boys. "Something must have happened on that last day then. But what was it?"

"I dunno. The closest I've known Dipper to being like that would have been…."

"When?"

"After the bunker incident."

* * *

Mabel approached the lone figure on the creaky log, observing how he has staring at Wendy's hat, almost contemplating something. The frosty grass crunched at the arrival at the awesome power of Mabel's love energy; the need for her to help her twin brother increased tenfold once she heard his mutterings of "Why? This only proves what I know. Love is stupid. Life is stupid. It contains suffering and regret and rejection. Why? Why can't I move on?" Mabel couldn't take it anymore.

"HUG BOMB!" Mabel started her rush towards her brother, startling him from himself.

"Wha?" Dipper thought, before finding himself squashed by the flying Mabel. His lungs found the air inside them disappear, and he went blank.

* * *

The log remained still since Dipper had his air knocked out of him. Dipper was still there, and now Wendy was trying to comfort him.

"I can't do that."

"Why not?" Wendy took a step forward.

"I don't want to feel it anymore. This…." Dipper took a step back.

"This what?" Wendy took a step forward.

"You wouldn't know. You've never been through it. You haven't felt it. If you had, you'd know exactly what I'm talking about." Dipper took a step back.

"Do you blame anyone?" Wendy took a step forward.

"Yes. Of course I do! Who wouldn't? Why are you asking these stupid questions? Not like you secretly loved me even after you did what you had to after the Bunker incident."

"Am I one of those people?" Wendy murmured, almost expecting an answer. "The ones that you hate?"

"No." This surprised her.

"Why? After all I've done for you? I left you to hang out with a jerk. I didn't give you a chance after I just dumped him. I basically forbade you from going out with me! WHY DON'T DO BLAME ME?"

"AT LEAST YOU GAVE ME A LOGICAL REASON BEHIND WHAT YOU DID!… Robbie was your boyfriend at the time, so of course you'd hang out with him more than a 12 year old nerdy kid. I did push myself too hard just after you dumped the jerk. At least you gave a reason why we couldn't be together and let us keep a friendship." Dipper shook, and paused to think of what to say. "I could never blame you. Because you have no reason for me to blame you. When I start going mad from what I've seen, I blame myself for getting into that situation. When I close my eyes and see **him** in ways you just avoided by becoming a curtain, I don't blame you. When I had seen Robbie treat you like a jerk, I blamed myself for not telling you earlier. I don't blame you for going out with a jerk, you didn't know he was a jerk. I…" Dipper fell silent. His eyes damned the flood that was building up. "I just want this feeling to stop. I want it to stop."

"Dude, that isn't true."

"Why not?"  
"Because if that were the case, you'd have done it before you got here. You wouldn't' have talked to me about it.

Wendy mentions 5year old her finding 12 year old Dipper and how she dealt with this 'rejection'.

Dipper chuckled. "So this person gave you the "they have to be similar ages" thing you have…"

"Yeah. I know, it's lame and whatnot, but-"

"How ironic would it be if that person you met were a time traveller, from the future, who got a "they have to be similar ages" thing from you, because you met this guy, etc."

"It would be super weird. And it would cause a paradox or something!"

"huh. Merry Christmas."

"Dude, that's like 6 days away."


	8. 1st August - Wildcard

**Hello there! This is Day 8, and the last day of WenDip week! This prompt was "Wildcard", and as such, I have brought in my love for the artist KoetheKoethe. In my head canon, Dipper enjoys whatever music. Some he won't understand, some he ignores the meaning behind it because it's a good song, some he understands. In the future, if I update any of these stories, this will be the first one I change. Here's the story!**

* * *

Music being played in the Mystery Shack was a rarity. During work time, it almost never occurred. Stan used the excuse that it would cost too much.

Looking back, that was a good thing, music not being played.

Straight Blanchin', Death in the Bottomless Pit, Wrong Stan Song, it was all utter crap. All on repeat. For the entire day. It really brought what appeared to be Stan's taste in music. Either that or he just couldn't be bothered to get some proper music. Dipper and Wendy hoped it was the latter.

"Hell, **I** have a better taste in music!"

"With crap like that, Nickelback probably has better taste in music."

"Yeah."

Dipper fell back against the wall, his brain thinking of something to talk about, before realizing something."Hey, I don't have a bad taste in music!"

"I Am, Jumper, Siren, Bad News of Three, Take it All Back, all by the same guy.. You seem to like this subtext of death. Basically every song on your phone apart from Disco Girl is talking about this stuff!"

"Hey, they are good songs! Not sure why they were made, though. And it's not like you're tastes are better!"

"Soos! My phone please, in the drawer next to the sink. And at your age, Dip, you don't want to know why some of those songs were made."

"I'm old enough!"

"No you're not. TRUST me."

* * *

Time passed. The end of the world came and went. As the sun rose on the Pines' last day in Gravity Falls, Dipper saw a note on his bedside table, with the words "Look in the marked room" written on it. Dipper got up from his bed.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. The clock continued ticking. The plane wall the clock stood by remained untouched for what seemed like three decades, the room filled with random junk from of Stanford Pines' research days. The door slowly creaked open by the sweaty, nervous child Dipper Pines. He glanced in this room, and took a hesitant step in. The room wasn't booby-trapped. This wasn't any of the evil people he knew. He looked around the room, wondering what could possibly be here that forces his attention to be dragged from sleep. He eventually left the room.

* * *

As the sun set on the Pines' last day in Gravity Falls before high school, Wendy entered the mystery shack with a sigh and face full of colour, and collapsed against the door. On the counter, half asleep, lay DIpper, confused mutterings about "That note" escaping his mouth.

"Dipper? You OK?" wendy asked.

Dipper abruptly awoke from whatever state he was in to the sound of Wendy's voice.

"Huh?"

"You ok dude?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Confused, but fine."

"Why's that?"

"Got this note earlier today, about this room where something should have been in it. Couldn't see it though.

"What room?"

"Upstairs, first right, straight ahead of you."

Wendy got up and went up to that room.

* * *

She entered the creaky room, and glanced around. At once, she saw the CD and the note next to it. The note simply read "For you". It did not reveal who put it there OR who it was intended for. Wendy picked up the CD and returned downstairs. "Dipper? Is this yours?"

"What?"

"This." She showed him the CD.

"No.? Why do you ask?"

"It was in the room."

"I never saw that in there. DId you put it there?"  
"No. You?"  
"I didn't."

"What was it doing there then?"

"I dunno. Probably being sent to me."

"Maybe. Let's listen."

Music started playing on the Shack's rushed speaker system.

Dipper recognized the voice, but couldn't work out where it was from.

As the music continued, the pair realized how much the song related to them. From going through hard times in Weirdmaggedon, to the sacrifices they would make for each other, to how they would occationally stare at each other awkwardly. This song, ironically or not, intentional or not, represented them.

"Dipper?"

"Yeah?"

The song ended.

"Could this... work?"

* * *

Meanwhile…

"MATCH MADE!"  
"So you finally got those two lovebirds together. Thank God."

* * *

Dipper sat on the bus, exhasted and wishing to sleep. He started to think of the events in Gravity Falls, and felt nostalgic despite being there only 25 minutes earlier. He took the letter that he had in his hand and opened it.

"See you next summer"

Dipper grinned.

* * *

 **For context, the song mentioned is Price by KoetheKoethe. I would recommend listening to his work after playing the game Life is Strange, the game I will make my next fanfiction on.**


End file.
